Book Review: Pocket Apocalypse

Pocket Apocalypse (InCryptid #4) 
By Seanan McGuire
****

“Hello,” she said. “Have you heard the good word of Wadjet, Protector of Egypt and great snake of the Milky Way?” 
― Seanan McGuire, Pocket Apocalypse

The fourth book in the InCryptid series had me on edge! The danger-level in this particular book seemed more intense than in previous installments. Normally I'd pick up a book in this series with the general assumption that the leads would live and there'd be a standard, if open (due to it being a series), HEA. I did not have that assurance as I read this story! Alex and Shelby head to Shelby's home in Australia after learning about a werewolf outbreak. In McGuire's world, werewolves are diseased - with a rabies-like virus - that makes them crazed killing machines. There will be no romantic interludes with these creatures. As they investigate the beastly menace, Alex also has to deal with Shelby's family, who pretty much hate him on sight as he's 1) an outsider, 2) a Price, 3) a grandson and cousin to a cuckoo, and 4) dating their daughter/sister.

The Aeslin mice, my favorite anthropomorphized characters since...ok, maybe ever, provide much needed levity, as everything else was stressing me out! They are basically the best. Despite the levity and all the madness and mayhem, there's one particular death that I'm still bitter about. Seanan, you know what you did!

I loved this book and I love this series. I can't wait to see what Verity's been up to in the next installment! We're going to a TV dance competition! HAIL!

Artwork by Kory Bing. Image taken from http://seananmcguire.com/fgaeslinmice.php

Book Review: Prudence

Prudence (The Custard Protocol #1) 
By Gail Carriger
*****

“If that Alpha wanted to dash off into the jungle with a mysterious goddess on her back on a whimsical evening run in the middle of a prospective battle, they would go with her.” 
― Gail Carriger, Prudence

Another great lark from the amazing Gail Carriger! Fast forward from the Parasol Protectorate series about 20 years, and join the offspring of several of its main characters in this new series. Prudence Alessandra Maccon Akeldama is the daughter of a werewolf and a preternatural (a "soulless" able to cancel-out the super in the supernaturals), making her the first metanatural (being able to "steal" the super from the supernaturals) in hundreds of years. She was also adopted and raised by a fashion-forward vampire and his pretty-boy drones. This combination of parentage has lead young Rue (she hates her name), to be rather daring and fearless, particularly in terms of undergarments, much to the dismay of her family.

Lord Akeldama, Rue's adopted father, sends her to India on a mission: someone has stolen the tea he was intending for an importing venture. Armed with a dirigible decorated like a ladybug, the twin offspring of the London vampire queen, the son of a brilliant inventor, and relatives stationed at her destination, and Rue dives full steam ahead into adventure. 

The first book in the Custard Protocol series is light and frothy and full of fun. There is certainly a mystery and the occasional daring-do, but the story never loses its sense of humor. Old characters grace the pages occasionally, and I was delighted to see them again. And the new characters were equally lovely. Miss Sekmet became an instant favorite. In addition, Carriger expanded her world building, introducing not only new characters, but new creatures as well. That was unexpected, but completely delightful! I can't wait to see what  else she has in store for her readers in future books.

This book can certainly stand on its own, but I'd recommend starting with the Parasol Protectorate series and possibly even the Finishing School series first, if you're new to the author. Her characters float between the series, and I find certain scenes more meaningful when I know the backstory. Either way, I highly recommend this book if you're looking for a clever romp with a healthy dollop of silliness.

Audio Book Review: Yes Please

Yes Please  
Written by Amy Poehler
Narrated by Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Eileen Poehler, William Poehler, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner
Book: ****
Narration: *****

“Telling me to relax or smile when I’m angry is like bringing a birthday cake into an ape sanctuary. You’re just asking to get your nose and genitals bitten off.” 
― Amy Poehler, Yes Please

Amy Poehler is a delight and a heroine. I'd like to be her when I grow up, except for the acting thing and the comedy thing. 

A lot of people will go into this book thinking it's a comedy book, which it is not. There's plenty of funny in it, but it is definitely more of a memoir, with Poehler's thoughts on life, stories from her childhood, and reflections on the world. Some of the anecdotes are hilarious, but others are touching or uncomfortable, but all are very real. But the comedy is definitely still present, like when Amy describes sitting on Clooney's lap at the Globes or making jokes with Tina.

There are so many ways to read a book anymore: print, digital, audio, holovids, direct-to-brain downloads, and fiction mist (oh wait, those last three haven't quite happened yet). So let me tell you right now the best way to read this particular book: audio, Audio, AUDIO. The book is read by Poehler, and she is a marvel. You can read the text in her voice if you're familiar with her work, but it's far better to HEAR the text in her voice, or sometimes Carol Burnett's voice, or Kathleen Turner's voice, or Patrick Stewart's voice, because they all join her in the narration! At one point Seth Meyers joins Amy in the recording booth and they have a little chat, later Amy reads a chapter to an audience at a comedy club. If you're a Parks and Recs fan, then you'll enjoy the clips from the show interspersed in the chapter dedicated to her time in Pawnee. These are all things you would miss out on if you use your eyes instead of your ears to read Yes Please. Please say YES! to the audio - you won't regret it!

Amy, you deserve all the pudding!

Audio Book Review: Grasshopper Jungle

Grasshopper Jungle   

By Andrew Smith

Narrated by Philip Church

Story: *****

Narration: *****

“History provides a compelling argument that every scientist who tinkers around with unstoppable shit needs a reliable flamethrower.” 
― Andrew Smith, Grasshopper Jungle

From Goodreads: 

Sixteen-year-old Austin Szerba interweaves the story of his Polish legacy with the story of how he and his best friend , Robby, brought about the end of humanity and the rise of an army of unstoppable, six-foot tall praying mantises in small-town Iowa.

To make matters worse, Austin's hormones are totally oblivious; they don't care that the world is in utter chaos: Austin is in love with his girlfriend, Shann, but remains confused about his sexual orientation. He's stewing in a self-professed constant state of maximum horniness, directed at both Robby and Shann. Ultimately, it's up to Austin to save the world and propagate the species in this sci-fright journey of survival, sex, and the complex realities of the human condition.

From Me: 

Umm...sooo this book. It's, well...how do I?... Huh.

Let's try this again. Grasshopper Jungle is unlike any book I've read...EVER. The story is completely bonkers. BUT IN A GOOD WAY. 

I'm not going to go into what the story's about - it's impossible for me to describe and you can read the official synopsis above. That being said, this world is both familiar and bizarre and the boys go through normal teenage stuff as well as events that are wackadoo. The story was at times hilarious, touching, and gross. Austin's "history" was fascinating, especially the way Andrew Smith had everything circle back to itself. I found myself completely enthralled. You know what I mean.

If you're easily offended by mature-immature content (and by that I mean the thoughts, words, and actions common to pubescent teenagers - and if you think they aren't, then you're probably deluding yourself) then this book probably isn't for you. But if you like the strange and bizarre, if you like stories about growing up and trying to understand yourself, if you like books about friendship and love and family, then this book is for you. And if you know a teen who thinks reading is boring or dumb or a waste of time, give them this book - I'm pretty sure they'll have a difficult time putting it down...or getting their eyes to pop back into their heads. BUT IN A GOOD WAY.

Audio Book Review: Bossypants

Bossypants 
By Tina Fey
Narration by Tina Fey
Book: ****
Narration: *************

“To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.” 
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

From Goodreads:
Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV.

She has seen both these dreams come true.

At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon—from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence.

Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've all suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy.

(Includes Special, Never-Before-Solicited Opinions on Breastfeeding, Princesses, Photoshop, the Electoral Process, and Italian Rum Cake!)

An unabridged recording on 5 CDs (5.5 Hours).


From Me:
Tina Fey reads the audio book. LISTEN TO THE AUDIO BOOK. You know how a bad narrator can make a good book awful? A kick-ass narrator like Tina Fey READING HER OWN BOOK makes a good book magic. 

Tina Fey is magic.

Book Review: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) 
By Mindy Kaling
*****

“This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It’s mostly pink. If you’re reading this book every night for months, something is not right.” 
― Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

This book was such a joy to read. If Mindy Kaling is as charming and lovely in real life as she appears to be in this book, then I totally want her to be my celebrity BFF (along with Cat Deeley). I actually LOL'd several times in my office whilst reading over my lunch break (and I don't LOL). Now, I'm not going to say that I relate to this book - she writes and acts in some seriously funny television shows; there are very few people who can relate to this. But Mindy (and I feel like I can call her Mindy after finishing the book) feels very real and unpretentious, despite her success, and I think we'd have a great time rummaging through Anthro while I listen to all her gossip about her costars.

Book Review: The Heist

The Heist (O'Hare and Fox #1)

By Janet Evanovich and Lee Goldberg
****

“[The pirates] were about ten yards away, coming up the starboard side, when the men suddenly dove off their boat. Nick looked over his shoulder and saw Kate standing behind him with a rocket-propelled grenade launcher resting on her shoulder. It may have been the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.”

This was a quick, fun read. Kinda like White Collar, but with a potential for romance instead of bromance. Kate O'Hare is a former Navy Seal and currently works for the FBI. She's been hunting conman Nick Fox for years and finally nabs him. Ever the conman, Nick manages to avoid jail by working with the FBI to catch other criminals, and Kate becomes his partner/handler. Heists and hijinks ensue.

I really enjoyed reading about a heroine who doesn't need to be "saved" and is actually competent (and eats! I love a heroine who isn't afraid of eating something made with real butter, a la Agnes Crandall and Lorelai Gilmore). Even though Kate was the Fed and Nick the conman, a lot of books would have had Nick rescuing Kate at some point because she was incapable of action (scared, weak, stupid, whatever, which happens so often) and that never happened (yay!). Instead, they each had their own skill sets and used them together well, acting as a team, despite Kate's concern about partnering with the criminal she chased for years. I appreciate that.

My favorite character, though, is Kate's retired military father, who gets to leave afternoon naps behind to help Kate out in various covert operations. I've chosen to picture him as Bruce Willis in RED. Love!

Book Review: The Last Dragonslayer

The Last Dragonslayer (The Chronicles of Kazam #1)
By Jasper Fforde
18,000,000 Stars

“The Kingdom of Hereford was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age, much to the chagrin of a lot of males, some of whom were still failing to make the grade at thirty-two.”

There are no words for how much I absolutely adore this book! I want to carry it around with me everywhere, hugging it to my chest, whilst skipping and singing.

This book made me as happy as this guy jumping around with a lemur.

But seriously, if you're a fan of cleverness, wit, and general awesomeness, then this is the book for you. Jennifer Strange is 15 and runs Kazam, an employment agency for wizards in the Kingdom of Hereford. Magic, though, doesn't have the umph it used to; it's dwindling, and some fear it may be disappearing forever. Magic carpets are used to deliver pizza. Wizards are hired to rewire houses. But Jennifer is having a hard time getting these jobs for the agency; she keeps getting underbid by non-magic plumbers and electricians.

Suddenly, though, magic starts to grow again. The wizards are able to accomplish feats of magic that they haven't been able to do in decades. And anyone who has ever had any kind of premonition suddenly starts to see the same thing: The Last Dragonslayer will come and slay the last dragon.

I don't want to give too much away, but I'm telling you, I haven't read a book that made me giggle this much or provided me with such a general feeling of happiness the way this book did. I lurved it! The writing is fun, the characters (like the wizards Moobin and Full Price - who has a brother called Half Price) are wonderfully and creatively rendered, and the plot feels completely new - I've never read anything like it!

Jasper Fforde is one of my all-time favorite authors, and I'm thrilled he's written a new series for teens! 

Book Review: Maybe This Time

Maybe This Time
by Jennifer Crusie
(*****)

From Goodreads:
Andie Miller is ready to move on in life. She wants to marry her fiance and leave behind everything in her past, especially her ex-husband, North Archer. But when Andie tries to gain closure with him, he asks one final favor of her before they go their separate ways forever. A very distant cousin of his has died and left North as the guardian of two orphans who have driven out three nannies already, and things are getting worse. He needs a very special person to take care of the situation and he knows Andie can handle anything…

When Andie meets the two children she quickly realizes things are much worse than she feared. The place is a mess, the children, Carter and Alice, aren’t your average delinquents, and the creepy old house where they live is being run by the worst housekeeper since Mrs. Danvers. What’s worse, Andie’s fiance thinks this is all a plan by North to get Andie back, and he may be right. Andie’s dreams have been haunted by North since she arrived at the old house. And that’s not the only haunting…

Then her ex-brother-in-law arrives with a duplicitous journalist and a self-doubting parapsychologist, closely followed by an annoyed medium, Andie’s tarot card–reading mother, her avenging ex-mother-in-law, and her jealous fiancé. Just when Andie’s sure things couldn’t get more complicated, North arrives to make her wonder if maybe this time things could just turn out differently….

From me:
It may seem strange to categorize this story as "Historical Fiction," but as you learn before the story starts, it takes place in 1992. "Because." In other words, no cell phones, no instant internet access - it's practically foreign territory nowadays! While this may be a ghost story, the real story is that of a woman trying to take care of, and then loving, two orphaned children. So maybe the fact that these kids are haunted by some disturbing ghosts mixes up this plot a bit, but it was the children that I found most compelling. And then there's the basic romantic element as our heroine Andie (short for Andromeda - her mom was either a hippie or just hippie like, I don't recall the particulars) has to contend with her fiance and the ex-husband she still has feelings for.

I often pick up Crusie titles, looking for a repeat of Agnes and the Hitman - one of my favorite books. This book contains Crusie's trade-mark humor, but it does seem to have a touch more seriousness than some of her other titles (and isn't quite as fantastic as Agnes). That may just be because children are involved in the dramatic bits, which makes it seem more serious. I don't know. But I loved it, all the same! Recommended.