Impatience

Last weekend I finally finished my application to grad school. I painfully wrote my personal goals essay (I loathe writing about myself for these types of things), sent in for my transcripts, and begged for recommendations. Within 48 hours of sending out the official recommendation requests, two of my three people had completed my recommendations and let me know that they were done. A few days later, I got a notice that my transcripts had arrived. So now I'm waiting on one person to complete the final piece of my application puzzle. Remember, this was all just one short week ago. There is absolutely no reason for me to be anxious or impatient yet - one, they may have been busy last weekend. Makes sense - their lives don't exactly revolve around me. Two, I told them that I had two months before it had to be in. Three, this was ONLY A WEEK AGO!

And yet I find myself thinking about asking another college professor if he'd be willing to do a recommendation for me, in the hopes that he would say yes and my app would be done, officially done, and I'd be that much closer to finding out if I was accepted and the next step in my life would officially begin. Aye, there's the rub. My life, in a way, hinges on one person now (yes, I know, not really - my life is in God's hands, not people's). If this person doesn't complete the recommendation, my application isn't complete, and I don't get in.

But I have two months before this has to get done; it's been one week since I made the request. So my issue here is not one person and their calendar - it's my own need to control my surroundings and my inability to deal with uncertainty with my present and immediate future. And since there has been an abundance of uncertainty and upheaval lately, I'm not dealing well with things like this.

So again I pray for patience (always a risky move, cuz God may grant it) and to just take this long weekend and relax. I discovered tonight, as tears streamed down my face as I watched the heart wrenching Hotel for Dogs, that I'm a little stressed right now. And maybe a little time to rejuvenate myself might help me get things back into perspective. That being said, I wish you all a fun (and refreshing) Memorial Day weekend.

And now I'm going to bed. G'nite.